2RedBeans
The Sweetness and Traps of Being Love-Struck
Definition of Lovesick Brain
Have you ever been teased by friends for having a lovesick brain? The moment you fall in love, your world suddenly shrinks to only include them, your mind filled with thoughts of how wonderful they are, while everything else becomes unimportant. If this sounds familiar, congratulations—you’ve officially joined the lovesick brain club!
Lovesick brain refers to a state where emotions take over in a relationship, overshadowing rational judgment. Simply put, it’s when you act a little silly in love, focusing solely on the other person while neglecting everything else. In this state, people often get lost in a bubble of sweetness, forgetting life’s troubles and even their own needs.
For example, you might find yourself making decisions in a relationship that you normally wouldn’t. Just to see them, you might cancel plans with friends or even postpone important work commitments. If you’re nodding along as you read this, then there’s no doubt—you’ve got a lovesick brain!
Is Lovesick Brain a Good or Bad Thing?
While lovesick brain might sound a bit negative, is it actually a sweet bonus or a red flag in relationships? The truth is, it has both its beautiful aspects and hidden pitfalls. Let’s take a closer look!
The Sweet Side
The sweetness of being love-struck lies in that pure, unadulterated happiness you experience while head over heels. You might do some seemingly silly things when in love, but these acts often make life more beautiful.
For instance, you might spend an entire day scouring the city just to find that limited-edition dessert your partner adores, all for the sake of a surprise. Or, upon hearing them casually mention a place theyd love to visit, you secretly plan a surprise trip just to see their delighted expression.
These seemingly foolish gestures are actually the most genuine expressions of love. Being love-struck can also spark your creativity, revealing sides of yourself you don’t usually show. For example, to craft a special love letter, you might suddenly find yourself waxing poetic, even adding hand-drawn illustrations to the page. Or, to give them an unforgettable birthday, you might pour effort into making one-of-a-kind gifts—things you wouldn’t normally do.
So, don’t resist these sweet feelings—embrace your love-struck heart! It adds color to your life and lets you experience a sense of fulfillment in love like never before.
Hidden Pitfalls
However, being lovestruck has its blind spots. Immersed in the sweetness of romance, you might sometimes struggle to refuse unreasonable requests from your partner. For instance, they might ask you to skip gatherings with friends to always be by their side, or expect you to constantly cater to their preferences while neglecting your own needs.
If you keep complying this way, you may gradually lose yourself. Take this example: if your partner expects you to adjust your plans for them every time, and you always agree without hesitation, over time they might grow accustomed to pushing their luck. You could start feeling like youre always giving without receiving equal consideration in return. This not only drains you emotionally but can also upset the balance in the relationship, eventually leading to conflicts.
The downside of being lovestruck is that it can make you overlook your own feelings and needs, revolving excessively around your partner. In the long run, this not only affects your happiness but may also harm the healthy development of the relationship.
How to Maintain Balance
So, how can you enjoy the sweetness of being lovestruck while avoiding its pitfalls? The key lies in maintaining balance and staying attuned to your inner feelings.
First, ask yourself with every decision: Am I doing this because I genuinely want to, or because I feel like I have to? This question helps you discern whether youre overly accommodating the other person or prioritizing your own happiness and fulfillment.
Second, pay attention to your overall emotions in the relationship. If you start feeling exhausted or notice that youre always giving without receiving equal effort in return, it may be a sign that the balance needs adjusting.
Lastly, learning to say no is equally important. If the other persons requests make you uncomfortable or feel like too much of a stretch, don’t hesitate to voice your feelings. A healthy relationship should be built on mutual respect and understanding. Setting boundaries not only won’t harm the relationship—it will earn you greater respect and strengthen your bond.
Finally, we highly recommend finding that special someone on 2RedBeans who can make your heart flutter while keeping a rational balance with you! The platform is full of like-minded individuals waiting to build deep emotional connections. Go ahead and find your love—without losing yourself in the love brain trap!
Book Recommendations for Readers Who Lose Themselves in Love
If you find yourself caught in the love brain spiral, feeling like youre gradually losing your identity in a relationship, here are a few books that can help. They’ll not only deepen your self-understanding but also guide you in maintaining rationality in love.
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The Power of Attachment (by Harriett Lerner)
If you often feel emotionally drained in relationships, this book offers practical techniques to help you heal and rebuild your emotional well-being, steering you away from being controlled by the love brain. -
Emotional Vampires: How to Recognize and Deal with People Who Drain You Dry (Albert J. Bernstein)
This book helps you identify and handle emotional vampires in relationships—those who may leave you feeling drained and lost. It equips you with the tools to maintain clarity and healthy boundaries in your connections. -
Loving Bravely: 20 Lessons of Self-Discovery to Help You Get the Love You Want (Alexandra H. Solomon)
This book teaches you how to stay true to yourself in intimate relationships, avoiding the trap of being overwhelmed by your partner’s needs and expectations. It offers practical steps to carve out your own space and voice in love. -
Inner Bonding: Becoming a Loving Adult to Your Inner Child (Margaret Paul)
This book encourages you to focus on personal growth in love, nurturing inner independence and self-worth. Through its guidance, you’ll learn how to love others without neglecting your own needs.
Original article in simplified Chinese. Translated by AI.