In the current dating trends, the daddy-style boyfriend has swept in like a whirlwind, quickly becoming the epitome of an ideal partner for many. Scrolling through social media, topics like Daily Life with a Daddy-Style Boyfriend and What Its Like to Date a Daddy-Style Boyfriend are consistently trending, making the term a new buzzword for engagement.

A prime example is Yang Zi from the popular reality show Farewell My Love, who embodies many traits of a daddy-style boyfriend. He often refers to his wife, Huang Shengyi, as little kid or brat. When Huang traveled with friends, Yang would call to check in, leveraging his resources and connections to smooth her way. Professionally, whether it was livestreaming or acting roles, Huang’s career moves were entirely orchestrated by Yang.

While netizens criticized Yang’s overbearing involvement in his wife’s life as overly dad-like, there’s a fine line between daddy-style and dad vibes. Both imply dominance and control, yet their reception differs drastically. The daddy-style boyfriend has evolved into a sought-after standard in the dating market.

In this issue, let’s delve into the allure of the daddy-style boyfriend.

Decoding the Daddy-Style Traits: The Many Faces of Paternal Devotion

A daddy-like boyfriend is essentially a man who treats his partner with the same care and affection as a father would his daughter, showering her with unconditional pampering. His unique brand of fatherly devotion manifests in multiple ways.

Thoughtful and Detail-Oriented: A Master of Observation

A daddy-like boyfriend is a true connoisseur of life’s little details. For instance, while passing by a flower shop, you might unconsciously slow your pace and linger for just a few seconds on a delicate bouquet of daisies—so briefly that you don’t even register the moment. Yet, when you’re about to head home after your stroll, he suddenly reappears with that very bouquet in hand, saying, I noticed you liked these earlier—they’re for you. His keen eye for subtle gestures never fails to move you.

Emotionally Steady: A Rock in Any Storm

No matter the challenge, a daddy-like boyfriend remains unshakable. Imagine planning a long-awaited camping trip, only to arrive and realize you forgot the tent—just as rain begins to drizzle. While you grumble in frustration, he calmly improvises, gathering discarded wooden planks and rope to rig up a makeshift shelter between trees—all while cracking a few lighthearted jokes to lift your spirits. With someone so emotionally grounded by your side, how could you ever feel anything but secure?

Indulgent and Accepting: The Mistake-Praising Machine

A dad-like boyfriend always understands your little moods and whims. One day, on a whim, you decide to try making a trendy viral cake. After spending half the day in the kitchen, the final product you bring to the table is not only misshapen but also tastes questionable. Feeling utterly dejected, he doesn’t hesitate to take a bite and immediately launches into praise mode: “You did this well on your first try? You’re so talented.” This kind of acceptance allows you to fully relax in love.

Seasoned and Poised: The Embarrassment-Defuser

A dad-like boyfriend’s mature aura seems innate. While attending an important industry dinner together, you get so nervous that you accidentally call his business partner by the name of a competitor. The room falls silent. Without missing a beat, he smoothly diffuses the awkwardness: “Haha, don’t take it the wrong way—she’s just trying to lighten the mood. She’s actually a huge admirer of your management philosophy…” A mature man always knows how to charm.

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The Hidden Worry Behind the Sweetness: The Control and Constraints of Dad Vibes

While fatherly pampering may seem heartwarming, this sweetness often conceals easily overlooked issues. When love crosses boundaries, doting can transform into shackles.

Overprotection: An Airtight Bubble Wrap

Daddy-boyfriend types often operate at maximum protective capacity. You watch a短视频 of someone bungee jumping and feel inspired to try it—only to be met with his rapid-fire safety lecture: equipment malfunctions, cardiovascular risks… instantly extinguishing your excitement. If he disapproves of a friend, he might restrict your interactions, fearing negative influence. Under such smothering care, you gradually lose both freedom and autonomy.

Decision-Making Dominance: The Stumbling Block to Self-Determination

A father-like boyfriend often unconsciously assumes the role of the decision-maker. From everyday meal choices to major career decisions, he always believes his judgment is more accurate. Youve been craving spicy hot pot for ages, but he insists its unhealthy and orders a salad for you instead. When you consider switching to a small but highly creative startup, he immediately objects: New companies are unstable and prone to failure—they cant compete with established corporations. Over time, you gradually lose the ability to make decisions independently and even start doubting yourself.

Emotional Dependence: A Sweet Prison

Under the all-encompassing care of a father-like boyfriend, you might unknowingly slip into the whirlpool of emotional dependence. He meticulously handles every little detail of your life. For instance, you were determined to assemble a piece of furniture yourself, studying the instructions for hours—only for him to walk in and say, Just relax, Ill take care of it. Eventually, no matter how big or small the task, you’ll instinctively seek his help rather than attempt to solve problems on your own.

Role Fixation: An Unequal Script

A father-figure boyfriend tends to position you as the perpetually protected little girl, while casting himself as the omnipotent guardian. This seemingly affectionate role dynamic may, over time, lead to inequality in the relationship. Take, for example, the decision of whose family to visit during the holidays. You might suggest alternating years—yours this year, his the next—only for him to respond, Your place is too far; it’s a hassle. Let’s just go to mine. While you may feel reluctant, he assumes his arrangement is considerate and in your best interest. This relational pattern can leave you emotionally stifled, making it difficult to voice your true thoughts and needs.

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Why the Attraction to Father-Figures? The Emotional Projection of Family of Origin

From a psychological perspective, the preference many women have for father-figure boyfriends is deeply intertwined with their family of origin, revealing a complex and subtle mechanism of emotional projection.

Psychologist Freuds Electra complex theory suggests that during their development, girls develop a unique emotional attachment to their fathers, which subconsciously influences their future choice of partners. In their family of origin, if a father provides ample affection, strong support, and proper guidance, girls will unconsciously use him as a reference when seeking a partner, hoping to find someone who can offer the same sense of security and care as their father did.

On the other hand, if the fathers role is chronically absent in the family—such as being too busy with work to engage emotionally with his daughter, missing key moments in her growth, or having a strained relationship that leaves her emotionally unfulfilled—it creates a deep void within her. As an adult, she may desperately seek the love and care she missed from her father through romantic relationships, trying to fill that paternal longing by dating a dad-like boyfriend. This phenomenon is known in psychology as emotional compensation.

Psychologist Bowen’s theory of differentiation of self also explains this well. Those with lower differentiation struggle to emotionally separate from their family of origin, making them more likely to seek compensatory love in relationships. And dad-like affection hits the mark perfectly.

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The Art of Harmony: A Delicate Balance Between Love and Self

The line between boyfriend material and fatherly vibes can get blurry with dad-like boyfriends, making it easy to feel torn between love and self-identity in such relationships. To help women strike a balance, Two Red Beans dating consultants have compiled some practical tips:

The Personal Space Pact

Given that dad-like boyfriends may overstep boundaries, consider drafting a Personal Space Pact together. Clearly define designated me-time slots—for example, every Saturday from 2 PM to 6 PM is reserved for your solo activities, whether it’s reading, joining a hobby group, or catching up with friends. To make it fun, include playful consequences for interruptions: if he disturbs you during this time, he owes you a small, thoughtful gesture, like a handwritten letter. This ritualized approach helps him understand and respect your boundaries while reducing overprotectiveness—and adds a touch of lightheartedness to your dynamic.

The Spoiling Scale Agreement

Let’s create a Love in Moderation agreement together. Sit down and discuss which behaviors cross the line into overprotectiveness or interference, and which expressions of care feel comfortable for both of you. For example, agree that he’ll ask for your thoughts before offering advice, or that he won’t make major decisions for you unless it’s an emergency. Write these agreements down and display them somewhere visible as a daily reminder. If either of you breaks the rules, apply the same penalty system. This pact will help foster healthier interactions.

Skill Challenge Showcase

To avoid becoming overly dependent under your doting boyfriend’s care, introduce a Skill Challenge Showcase. Set a Skill Challenge Day each month where you learn something new and demonstrate the results to him. For instance, try crafting a leather wallet or mastering mixology to prepare a signature cocktail just for him. By consistently tackling new skills, you’ll prove your independence, challenge his assumption that you need constant assistance, and enrich your own life—boosting confidence along the way.

Role Reversal Immersion Week

Role Reversal Immersion Week

Occasionally, switch roles for a set period—like a designated Role Reversal Immersion Week. During this week, fully swap your daily responsibilities: you take care of his daily needs and plan his after-work activities, while he experiences what it’s like to be cared for and have his schedule arranged. This not only helps him better understand your perspective but also allows both of you to reassess your roles in the relationship, fostering a more balanced dynamic. At the end of the week, reflect together on the experience and discuss how to better balance your roles moving forward.

The Needs List Communication Method

A dad-like boyfriend may sometimes rely on his own assumptions when taking care of you, overlooking your actual needs. Try the Needs List method: write down your recent desires in life, emotions, career, and other areas—whether its wanting to try a new outdoor activity or hoping for a special celebration on an important occasion. This approach helps him clearly understand your inner wishes, preventing well-intentioned but overbearing spoiling from becoming restrictive. It also strengthens mutual understanding and trust.

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In this fast-paced and uncertain era, urban young people, grappling with loneliness and stress, find their longing for intimacy intertwined with a quest for security. The emergence of father-like boyfriends is no accident—it resonates with the deep-seated human desire for stability and reliability in todays world.

For women who admire father-like partners, it’s unfair to hastily label them as spoiled wives. Behind this preference lies an emotional choice made by a generation navigating real-life challenges—where steadiness and security hold just as much value as passion and romance.

Whether one chooses a father-like boyfriend or another type of partner, the hope is that everyone can find balance and happiness in both loving and being loved.

Original article in simplified Chinese. Translated by AI.